You Ready? I don't even have to ask.....

Denial…that’s what I have been in for years. I will admit that. You have tried many times to call my hand on it, and I brushed it off as you trying to get to know me when I didn’t want you to. I was too busy doing my thing and really not picking up on the vibes that were so very apparent. Actually, I was blocking them and I knew I was. I guess I finally realized it when you asked me if I knew someone or had a friend that you could “get to know”. At first I said no, then I said I did know someone and I introduced the two of you. Now, while I don’t regret introducing you two because I think we are all still cool friends even after the drama of a certain person who is way to old to behave in such a manner, I DO regret not speaking up and telling you that I wanted you in the worst way. I will say that I was a little jealous when she told me what the business was really about. Hell, that should have been me. But a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, right?

Through whatever conversation we were having one day, something was said and you stated to me, “I told you that I would hit a long time ago”. When you said that I got to thinking back: a look here, a comment there, little sly shit here, a suggestion there. I got to thinking yoooo, my dude is so serious about this!! So, here is what I’m going to say to you: Its all good, for real. I can’t deny this anymore, it would be completely asinine of me to continue doing so. Dreams(as vivid as they can be, oohh-wee), constant thoughts that keep me staring into space and unfocused.The denial stops here. I know you got me because we have talked about this along time ago, about how I haven’t been with a whole lot of men and you are going to have to take it easy on a sista—at first anyway. I know you got me…yeah, I know you got me. Anticipation is a muthafucka.